So, gay men and lesbians may soon be able to be married in the UK. What’s all the fuss about? By Jove co-founder Lauren Green looks at some of thearguments against same-sex marriage, and is a little stumped by what she finds…
As a gay person, I can’t understand why gay marriage is still illegal in many countries. This seems a fairly obvious statement, given that I would naturally be extremely biased on the matter, but I thought I’d say it first and get it out the way.
In the UK, our government is currently deciding whether to allow marriage to become a legal right for everyone, regardless of sexuality. At present, we have Civil Partnerships that allow gay people most of the same legal rights (or at least that’s my understanding) as straight couples, but the new marriage law would ensure that everyone was entitled to the same legal rights and treatment. In the US, many states are voting on whether to allow gay marriage and it’s a fairly hot topic at the moment. Maine, Maryland and Washington are the newest states to vote in favour of gay marriage and even President Barack Obama has come out (pardon the phrasing) in favour of gay marriage. In other very positive news, especially given that she’s highly tipped to be the next Democratic Party candidate in 2016, Hilary Clinton has also recently allied herself with pro-gay marriage supporters.
It all sounds very encouraging in the Battle for Gay Rights that rages on around the world. Or at least on the surface. Beneath the surface of positive change lies the murky world of anti-gay rights supporters.
What’s all the fuss about? Surely same-sex marriage is just as much about two people being in love as heterosexual unions. (Source: frontpagemag.com)
In America, California is currently fighting to overturn Proposition 8. For anyone not familiar, this political bill made gay marriage illegal just months after it had been legalized. In the short space of time that gay marriage was legal, thousands of same-sex couples married, only to find our that their peers couldn’t enjoy the same legal status post-November 2008. Pro-gay rights groups are now campaigning to have the move rightfully proven as unconstitutional, and gay marriage once again legalized.
The argument usually used against gay marriage is that marriage should be between a man and a woman. Sometimes this is because of an individual’s religious beliefs, sometimes it is their social beliefs, but 99% of the time it is a statement made by a heterosexual individual who already has the rights to marriage and has never had to fight for that right. This statement, that marriage is purely for a man and a woman, is extremely outdated and a weak argument these days. Marriage, gay/straight/otherwise, is to do with two people. Not your neighbours, not someone halfway round the world, not even your parents. A marriage, simply put, should be between two consenting adults who wish to take their relationship to the next level, to legalise it and express their love and commitment to each other. Another person outside your relationship should not have the right to dictate whether you can marry the person you love. In doing so, they are violating your basic human rights and essentially classifying your relationship as not valid, or as valid, as their own. In 2013, this isn’t a fair view to take.
If you ignore the pro-gay arguments of “we’re just as human as you and want to express our love like you do” then the logical argument is the following: What does another person’s marriage have to do with you? Many anti-gay marriage supporters use the argument that gay marriage would make a mockery of marriage. My counter-argument is that another person’s marriage doesn’t affect your own, whether it’s same-sex or not. A heterosexual marriage isn’t affected by another heterosexual marriage, so you can’t apply the “mockery logic” to gay marriage. As Wanda Sykes pointed out, the biggest threat to marriage isn’t gay marriage. It’s divorce.
BBC3’s ‘Don’t Tell the Bride’ – one of many programmes that demonstrate just how “sacred” marriage is to us in 21st century Britain (Source: tenby-today.co.uk)
The “sacred institution” that so many people speak about is not so sacred when they are bored of their marriages. Some of the strongest anti-gay marriage supporters have made a mockery of the act of marriage themselves. I would be willing to bet that some of them (not all) are cheaters, divorcees or serial husbands/wives. How can the argument that you are “protecting the institution of marriage” be used when you’re on your third marriage? Personally I don’t have a problem with anyone getting married more than once, you should be able to get divorced if you want to, but I do have a problem with these same people then arguing I can’t even have one marriage in case I decrease the value of their own nuptials. This example is before you even get to fake marriages, those for the purpose of a green card, which is surely much more of a mockery than two people marrying for love. If you want to protect the sanctity of marriage, and you are using this as the foundation of your argument, then start by looking at heterosexual marriages that already exist. And, dare I say it, your own marriage. Heterosexual marriages are not always the purest marriages, and gay marriage isn’t going to change that. People will still be getting 48 hour long quickie weddings in Vegas whether a gay couple marries in California or not.
